Sadness

Sep. 17th, 2007 03:13 pm
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"The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend.  Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again.  In one Age, called the Third Age by some, an Age yet to come, an Age long past, a wind rose somewhere in the United States.  The wind was not the beginning.  There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Wheel of time.  

But it was an ending."

I'm more upset about this than I imagined I would be, since I didn't even read the 11th book when it came out. I guess I always thought I'd get back to them someday, but this...it's just so sad.
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Strange, isn't it? I had an awful morning with 8th graders today, and yet, I'm happy.

Perhaps it's because I'm re-reading R.F. Delderfields "To Serve Them All My Days", which is the book that made me decide I wanted to be a teacher, oh-so-many years ago. Like when I was 12. I can pick it up, and even though the last time I read it was 12 years ago, I can remember exact passages of diologe, as I laugh and cry my way through P.J's journey at Bamfylde, his love for his teaching and his family, and recall his joy, sadness and hope that I one day wanted to claim as my own. This book, even with all it's beloved Britishness, should be required reading for every incoming teacher. If it fails to move them, they should be scrubbed. This is "Goodbye, Mr. Chips" writ large, more so, for it's scope sweeps over the generations.

Or it could be that the weather had turned a bit warm today. The sky isn't even all that blue, but it's warmer than usual. Oh, I'm an old New Englander enough to know it won't last, not on 15 Feburary, when we've been known to have blizards in April, but it's a preview, if you will. A note that winter can't last for ever, and that spring will come, in all its glory. Its the kind of Febuary day when you look at the calander, and realize...hmm...Spring Training can't be all that far off, now, can it? It's the kind of day I would have gone to Doc Merchant's office, and said, "Gee Doc, how do the Braves look this year? What did you think of the Sox signing Coco Crisp?" And that brings with it all the hope and enjoyment of the potential of a new baseball season, when the boys of summer play long into the lazy evenings, and you can listen on the radio, and sip your lemonade and swing gently on the front porch.

Perhaps it's the warmth reminding me that no, winter can't last forever, and not only the winter outside, but the cold, cruel winter that I've been suffering in my soul. The uncertaintly of my employment, the frustrations of subsituting, and scraping along in retail. The knowlege that job openings are starting to appear, again, like flowers after a long, barren winter. I've applied to one already. There's one in my home town, that I would DEARLY love to try for. I may, even if I can't take it, since Salem is near an hour and a half from here. They'll be more to come, I'm sure. Hope is returning, and the knowlege that this could all be over. That next fall, I could be standing at the blackboard, like P.J. at Bamfylde, teaching history in doggeral (divorced, beheaded, died...), and relating juicy stories about our forebears to try and keep the layabouts awake.

It's not spring yet, but it's coming. And the true gift of false spring is hope.
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My life proceeds apace.

Subsitutiting is the bane of my existance. I've been in a middle school the last two days, and these kids give new meaning to hell on wheels. I had one swear at me. A middle schooler! I told him to move his seat, because he was talking to the kid next to him, and looks up at me and says "What the hell for, I ain't done sh-t." "Office! NOW!" I roared, and the class went dead silent so as for pin to drop, but the kid just sat there, pleased as punch, and then sauntered off to the office. Arrogant little peice of...*ahem*. Oh dear Lord, I pray thee for the ability to snap my fingers and land anyone of my choosing in US Marine Boot Camp. Hoo-rah.

Sears is going better. The final body count climbed to 9 firings and four arrests. And it's funny, the store runs just as efficently now as it did before. Overstaffed much? Well, at least I'm getting paid by the hour. I actually enjoy the work, which is good, since it means I no longer have a day off. I work 7 days a week. I realize of course, lots of people do, because they have to, and they don't complain, so I shouldn't go round feeling sorry for myself, but man, I'm tired lately. No rest for the weary, I suppose.

Think I picked up a mild cold. THat's not helping. And I've done *Something* to my right leg. I can't seem to lift it above my knee. Like, when I go to get in my jeep, it sets off excruciating pain. Must be a muscle pull, or worse, tear. I hope its just a pull and it will fade in time. It's lingered long enough though, that I'm seriously thinking of seeing a Doc.

Trying to hook Sara on Sherlock Holmes. Read her Scandal in Bohemia last night at bedtime. She seemed to enjoy it.

Enough about me. How about the rest of y'all?
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It's been a while since I've updated about anything besides my new website and NaNoWriMo...oh, there was that post about HP questions, and all of them have since been answered.

Life goes on, I suppose. I'm still subbing. Day in, day out, I have no idea where, who, or what subject I'll be. Monday, I taught sixth grade math. I made a mistake while subtracting, and I'm fairly sure there were 25 sixth graders laughing at me behind my back. Okay, so they weren't doing out loud, but still. Math was never my strong suit, and I was pretty much ad libbing in a subject I never cared for. Still, I was beet red.

Today I was a computer teacher. That was easy, I sat around while the kids did their computer things, and worked on NaNo. Tomorrow, I'm giving a history test. Friday? Who the hell knows?

My kingdom for the slightest peice of permanance. I NEED A JOB!

There's that Christmas wish meme going around, and I'm probably going to do it eventually, but number one, numero uno Christmas list? A HISTORY TEACHING POSITION.

And of course, the whole time change thing is throwing me off, although it's probably in a good way. I've discovered through the years that I'm a very sunshine oreiented person. If it's up, I'm up. When it's not up, I feel like sleeping. It means I find it very easy to get up in the morning, but I'm finding it really difficult to stay up much past 10 these days. Not that I should be anyway, but I'm really starting to feel tired much earlier in the day. Like now. It's six thirty. I could go to bed now.

On the plus side, the subbing thing gives me lots of time to Novelize for NaNo. And also I'm reading an incredibly facsinating book on the construction of the Panama Canal. The Path Between the Seas, by David McCullough. HIGHLY reccomended. I want to go see the Culbera Cut (Gailliard Cut) now. Unfortunetly, Panama vacations are really expensive. Trust me, I looked.

There are 50 some odd days until wedded bliss. Crunch time! With a little bit of luck, it won't fall apart, and we'll both still love each other when it's over. Okay...*WE'LL* still love each other. The chances of our families getting through this without killing each other is getting smaller...can't wait to get to the Bahamas the Monday after Christmas.

Oh, what the heck, I'll do the Christmas meme now. I've got nothing better to do. I just feel like a heel doing it, because I've searched and searched through my f-list, and I couldn't find anything for me to do for anyone else. I feel guilty posting it knowing that I can't find anything to do for someone else.

Christmas Wish Meme )

See, now I feel like a complete stodge because someone will probably find something the can help me with, and I've not been able to find a single thing to do for someone! Somebody go do this meme and list something I can help you with, so I don't feel so bad!

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